I haven't been feeling like myself lately. One sure sign is my lack of writing during the past two months. I've written nothing, other than a few thank you notes for my birthday last month and a few e-mails. I've just been too exhausted and disconnected to bother. That's not like me.
(It doesn't help that we've had the worst winter I can remember and it's the first one I've spent cooped up in the house with the kids full time.)
A couple weeks ago, I decided to confront this slump head on, hauling myself to the doctor for a checkup, getting my bottom off the couch for at least 30 minutes of daily exercise, taking some vitamin D, eating better and just being kinder to myself. I'm feeling better already, but it's not without a lot of effort, effort I'm not really used to making.
Isn't that one of the toughest parts of motherhood for all of us - self care? I'm happy (most of the time) to wipe faces, read stories, run errands, play Memory, pay bills and get us to activities all day long, but what happens when I have a hard day, get sick or overwhelmed? Everything just keeps chugging along.
Sure, I can schedule a doctor appointment, but it requires working around multiple activities, a work schedule and can, in the most awesome of times, entail hauling two crabby kids with. By the time I've rushed out the door late, strapped in two screaming children and driven us through snow to the office, I'm, frankly, in a worse mood than the kids. I don't even want to bother.
I can also make a goal of exercising daily, but I've got a cat crawling under me during the triangle pose or pushups and kids running circles around me during aerobics. I snap. I sigh. I bark in utter frustration. I feel like a crazed wolf protecting my den - my corner of the family room, my 30 minutes. Defending my workout burns more calories than the actual routine.
But I'm beginning to see how necessary all of this is, even if it's many times more work than just letting it all slide. I'm a better mom, a better wife, a better friend when I'm feeling like myself. I'm a better person when I don't let myself slide over and over to the bottom of the list. It's hard pushing myself up to the top for a few minutes each day - even with Jason's evening help whisking the kids away - but it's necessary. Just as I tend to everyone else in the family, I need to mark down my rotation. No one else is going to do it.
I also think of the example I'm setting for my kids when I put everyone's needs above mine. Do I really want Natalie to do the same when she's tending to a family? Or do I want Gavin to choose a wife who doesn't make herself a priority and is crabby because of it? Absolutely not.
The kids will eventually learn to entertain themselves - and not hound me - with Playdough or coloring while I work out. We'll find ways to wiggle in more appointments or outings for me, even if it means giving up others' plans. I'll take the time for a sit-down breakfast, instead of rushing through a few more morning chores. And I'll stop trying to do so much myself, without asking for help.
I can feel the difference already.
How do you find the time and energy to take better care of yourself? Please share!
1 comment:
Once again, great topic for a blog post! Why is it that we, as mothers, think we need to be martyrs and continually put ourselves at the bottom of the list? Is it really that horrible to be, dare I say it, anything remotely resembling selfish?
I have learned that it is absolutely necessary! Without "me" time, I feel like I'm only a worker and mother (and sometimes a wife). It is easy to lose yourself when there is so much to do, especially when your child is an infant.
A few years ago Joel suggested that we each take one evening a week to do as we please. We are "allowed" to work on fun projects or do absolutely nothing, including watching TV or reading all evening after dinner.
This practice at our house is very refreshing and a great way to rejuvenate. I love knowing that for at least 3 hours a week, I will have time for myself, where no one is going to need anything from me. Another plus is that the other parent has special time to do activities with your child / children.
Post a Comment